But I Think There's More To Me!

But I think I am more, much more than I know of me. Beyond what I think I can ever be. Deep within and under wraps, there lies a little unexplored side to see. Quiet, yet active subconsciously. The masquerade side that plays hide & seek. It sings out loud and stirs a storm, but tough it is to know the words of the song. So I dive in the depths of my thoughts, try and figure out their source. I struggle to trace back the signs, fiddle a little with my soul divine. Listen to the sound it makes, with not ears but my heart, the echoes of which begin to get sparse. I run, jump, walk and bend to see, if it’s hiding in there, beneath. I go all around helplessly. Buzzing with commotion, I become fidgety. Tired and fatigued, I sit down with my head drooping low. Unable to settle the ripping roar, I feel it hurting me and making my inside a little sore. Mood bird now singing a melancholy, it flutters in a higgledy-piggledy state. Soon, salty drops begin to drip. And I begin to reflect. Finally the inside dialogue begins. Cleansing the misunderstandings, pouring out all petty woes of sensitivity; soon I hear the saddened me speak out to me merrily. Yes I am happy, but I still think, there’s more to me.   
    

Silence in Noise

Have you ever got lost?
Well I don't mean literary but like into your own world. And I am not talking about your dream world either but your world of thoughts or may be in the noises around you?
Well I ask so because lately it has been happening to me. No matter whether I am with my family or friends or a at a place with complete strangers around me. I feel numb and dumb. Absolutely sensationless. As if afloat in my own thoughland. Practicing silence in the noisiest of places, as though was invisible to people and no matter what I do doesn't bother them at all. And to my amazement I felt certain amount of peace spreading all throughout me. Felt like keeping mum like this for quite a while now, untill the silence spills over from my eyes, nose, eaars and mouth. And when my whole being is formatted with this internal peace I wish to return to this big bad world. It seems there is some conncetion between this peace and my tempramenst these days. Seems like I have lost my cool and balance of mind. I am just flowing along with the flow and getting all displaced from my path of destination. I see a distant sight of me, that I was, from where today I am and alos how I want to be. But with the circumstances around and the unexpected situations that life poses, things take a small degree of turn here and there, making it all go haywire. Trying to grab controll but it is just going all away. And it is only in this silence that I feel myself. I don't want to be an idol of sacrifices but want to be me. People call this selfishness, but I ask how does it matter. I am not doing something obscene or with bad intent, but for my growth and knowledge. After all we are here on earth to learn. there's not just this external world but also a world within us. I want to experiment, I want to be free, liberated, with no watch dogs.