मौसम-ए-साज़ पे थिरकता मन-मयूर

मौसम ने छेड़ा कुछ ऐसा साज़,

कि बादलों का टूटा ठहराव,

झूम के बरसी फिर ये घटा काली,

आसमानी जलतरंग ने फैलाई फिर धरती पर  हरियाली,

मिटटी का हर कण उछल-उछल कर भीगा,

इसकी सोंधी खुशबू ने फिर किया आलम को मदमस्त और रंगीला,

देख भूधरा का भीगा आँचल, 

ठंडी हवा भी संग लहराई,

हर चित्त जो था गर्मी से व्याकुल,

इस बहार-ए-बरखा ने ठंडक पहुचाई,

पंछियों ने भी खूब उठाया आनंद इस घड़ी का,

गाये गान प्यार के, फड़-फड़ाए पंख इकरार के,

भूल के हर बात, अगली-पिछली,

प्यास बुझाई चित्त और आत्मा की, 

देखो इस झड़ी ने क्या है रंग लगाये,

मन्न जो हो उठे चंचल, तो फिर कहीं लग ना पाए,

हर दम अब नया कोई नगमा ये दिल गुन-गुनाता है,

अल्फाजों के पर लगा, दूर तक घूम के आता है,

गुज़रते हुए यादों के बगीचों से,

ये कभी सूखी पढ़ी, खुशियों की डालों पर आँख का पानी छलकाता है,

तो कभी गीलें ग़मों के पत्तों को, मुस्कान की धुप से सुखाता है,

इस मौसम-ए-साज़ की तरन्नुम को सुन, 

देखो कैसे जिया भावुक हो जाता है,

इन बादलों के संग बरसने से,

कई बार ये मन भी हल्का हो जाता है,

समेट फिर ज़िन्दगी का सार,

संग हो हर रंग फिर एक बार,

आसमान फिर सुकून का ध्वज लहराता है,

देख उस इन्द्रधनुष को, मन-मयूर फिर आशावादी हो थिरकने लग जाता है. 

Dawn is not too away from the dark

Bound in shackles yet again

Of the vices that are my off springs

Seldom did I know

That the seeds of sweat and blood my freedom martyrs had sown

Would reap so much corruption and greed someday…

Today I am on the brink of collapse

As they divide me into portions of a meal

But would their hunger ever be satiated???

But each time an innocent little child salutes at my flag

The dreams in his eyes, take me back to that fresh breath of freedom

That I once experienced…

The sound of my anthem stirs up national spirits

And melodious praise of my youth…

The sounds of ‘Jaye He’, ‘Vande Matram’ and ‘Sare Jahan Se Acha, Hindustan Humara’ brim me with hopeful tears of glory…

And oh! The whiff of patriotism then…

It stirs my soul giving me hope

That the dawn is not too away from the dark

I wait for my freedom yet again…

Raindrops

Beating the blaze,

You dazzle down to quench,

Seeping into the earthly souls, 

Fulfilling desires,

Oh! Heavenly bliss...

Tranquil all rage with your love.

You're free to be... your true self!

That sadness in your eyes…

Silently sobs and whispers… of how I have failed you and your love

They are in pain of disregard and disrespect, done by me…unto you

But they contain the agony very silently to themselves

Questioning me what wrong have I done?

Arms that have liberated me

And embraced me to a happy world…

… are now tied by my possessive love

I am sorry I did it to you….

I regret all the sorrow and the pain…

…I know my love is not mature as yours

But is surely growing up…

Even I wish to liberate you …

The way you have done to me…

And from today itself I shall try and be…absolutely carefree…

I love you but have no rights to bound you…

I loved you for what and who you were and are…

So shall you remain like that….

You are free…To be …

All that makes you …your true self!

The Other Side of Life

Life can often be bewildering. You can’t always call it unfair but it can certainly be absurd and astounding. Events keep happening uncontrollably, leaving you exhausted. As you try coping with it, thinking you’ve had enough, deserve better and no more of it, there’s something else awaiting you. Each time it's a new experience, demanding in many ways, monetarily, mentally, physically and emotionally. Leaving you exhausted. 

Such moments, if you notice, make you more mature, experienced, strong and weak at the same time. You lose a great deal of yourself, acquire few new traits, recollected your shattered self and discover a new side of you too. All of it is disturbing enough, and would mostly leave you wondering… how would it be to have a smooth and peacefully perfect life?

And that’s when you sense this feeling of undoing and redoing situations/ behaviours to make it all work perfectly. You keenly imagine the other side of life. Had it not been this way, how beautiful would it be. But then deep down somewhere you know, there would have been some other aspect or adversity, which could have been much graver. So much that of course you cannot imagine, quite like you never imagined this phase of life.

But you see how human mind is, always keen on the other side of life, the other side of the coin, the other side of a person or may be self and how we always find the grass greener on the other side. There's certainly a pull on the other side, the probabilities of possibilities that keep us unsatisfied and leave us manipulating.

Truly the other side can be anything, it can be full of rosy fantasies or unbearable horrors. Which is why life keeps throwing a blend of experiences because we can never manage balancing ourselves on the either edges always.

Unstoppable Beats!!!

I crave for your sweet voice,

To pour love into me,

Stir back those dormant desires,

And melt my heart into a symphony,

Kiss me with your warm breath,

And let my lips tremble,

Allow your words to cast a spell,

Setting in strong currents,

Bringing alive my slumbering soul,

Igniting sensations, reviving passion,

Yet again into a thousand trillion, unstoppable beats!!

How could I ever let you go…

Score in the background: ‘Main Tenu Samjhavan Ki’ from Virsa.

Waiting for him with dinner set on the table Arpita waited for Siddharth. When she last spoke to him he had left from work and said would reach by 8:30 pm. Delighted to greet him with a sumptuous meal, Arpita had cooked and finished her left out chores well in time, and was now looking forward to spend the rest of the eve with Siddharth.

During the entire course of hectic days, dinner is what would make her hopeful for that’s when she’d be her lifetime companion. There’s this sudden joy that she felt each day as the dusk would set in. Throughout the day, each time she felt low or aloof, she'd fondly think of Siddharth and draw her strength from their love. He was the best thing that really happened to her and she was head over heels for him despite 4 years of marriage and other 4 years of dating at college. They were quite a favourite couple of almost all who’ve known them, be it college, friends or family. Siddharth was captain of the football team and Arpita was a stunning showstopper of her fashion team then, when the love bug bit them.

Glancing at the clock every now and then, she finally gave up and called him at 9:30 pm. The phone rang several times, but went unanswered. A little panic stricken Arpita was consoled by the loving wife in her telling her about the traffic jam and how he often forgets to change the phone mode from silent to loud. Relaxing herself she dozed off, in front of the television. And was woken up only an hour later thinking the door rang and she ran towards it wondering for how long was she asleep and how many times Siddharth must have rang the bell. Hurriedly she opened the door to find no one outside. But she thought, she had heard the bell or was she dreaming or was it her subconscious playing a trick. Closing the door she looked at the clock and it was 10:30 pm already. Fumingly anxious by now she called up Siddharth again.

Phone rang for long again and was finally answered, but seems that happened accidentally. Listening to the voice on other side, which was of female she fell silent and did not say a word. The woman was giggling and responding back in a sassy tone to Siddharth who seemed to be entertaining her with her jokes and teasing talks. Finally Arpita almost yelled at the handset and blurted out a loud series of hellos. Silence on the other side made it evident that her voice had finally reached them. The woman had picked up and responded in a hello, which sounded a little tensed now. The giggle and teasing tone had faded. It seemed like a shiver had already went down their spines and they both had glanced each other in shock. Their brains now half paralyzed with panic wondered when did the call get connected and what all had Arpita heard and how would her reaction be, etc. 

Arpita's voice stern now beaming with streaks of jealousy and bossiness, demanded: " who is that?"

The voice on the other side answered in a controlled tone of anxiety, " Hi, Saba this side"

"I want to speak to Siddharth, I'm his wife."
To which she said, "He's driving."
Arpita more aggressive than before said, "He can easily park his car on the side and talk."

And instantly she was interrupted by Sidharth's hello!

His voice gave her prompt relief and peace soothing her worries and comforting her. She was so madly in love with him that even today his voice had an overwhelming response on her. But while the heart was racing both in love and jealousy, and now with more love after listening to his warm voice, suddenly her head took over and questioned what was he up to? 

Hiding her love and controlling her hurt and anger Arpita questioned him in a stern voice, " Where are you?" 

And he coolly replied, "On way back."

"Since when yaaar, you were to reach at 8:30 and it is 10:30 already. What is this long drive all about and who is this female with you?"

Her tone a mix of vulnerability and love, topped with doubt and jealousy along with a quiver of fear in it. The venom of suspicion now trying to dig deep into the words being spoken, stressing the ears to get the ambience sound, to know if Siddharth was telling a lie or not. Her cognizance began to tremble with shame on her doubting thoughts, but also at the fear of what she was thinking. Yet, there was something that made her strong inside and allowed her not to yell or collapse or to even face her fears, and this something was her pure love for Siddharth. The intensity of which was now empowering her radioactive feelings. 

Love they say is like devotion and it is completely unconditional, but with an exception that it also requires give and take. It is inexhaustible only if replenished. If you keep taking it for granted, one day it might just wither and wear out completely, because while love was comforting you all the time you just kept using it each time you needed it. And you simply ignored that it was eventually running out and dry. Had you just noticed and gave some heed… it would have lived longer and forever. 

Every time Arpita loved him and over cared for Siddharth, he feared it and would say " I'm not god, why do you show so much devotion darling. I'm human and I'm scared of how much you love me and whether I'll be ever able to come up to your expectations." But Arpita was mad about him, for her it was this strong connection of their souls that gave her so much tranquility in his arms like nowhere else. 

Finally he was at the door but his face wash flushed out and hung long both in embarrassment and in anger. Without a word between them the silence was erring, packed with cold chaos. 

He gets fresh and they both start their dinner when Arpita finally kills the weirdness in the air with her interjections. She asks about her and he raises his voice because he hates Arpita doubting him. But she can't help it, coz she is hurt and he has done it before. The thought of which stabs Arpita each time and makes it just impossible to let go the past. 

He rises from his seat in a jerk and swiftly walks out of the room, following him Arpita almost begins running to catch up with his pace. But as she steps out of the room to enter another one she realizes that she is at a ballroom crowded with young and pretty couples. Her eyes searching for him and her body urging to be embraced in his arms, but at a distance she spots them, dancing hand in hand and her head on his chest, a much youthful woman, a spotless beauty, a perfect figure swaying in Siddharth's arms. 

A woman replaced for another so easily!!!

With an unbearable heartache and tears in her eyes, Arpita wakes up sobbing loudly. She glances at the mobile to check the time and it was 5:30 am already. She quickly ignores the horrible feeling and rushes to get ready for she has a train to catch to get back to Siddharth and be in his arms.

They say morning dreams come true, but Arpita has dreamt much harder and gone way beyond to bring Siddharth into her life. Each time she fears of this distance from Siddharth, she falls more in love with him, this making her magnetic love field much stronger to keep him hooked in love with her. And she tells herself like a psychopath each day, "I'm not giving up on you. Not so soon, not so fast, not now, rather never forever! How could I ever let you go- my life.”

Love Mirage

Amidst the tides of challenges
We did find our shore to rest
But with each passing wave of time
The current seems to have gone a miss!

Is it still love or just a mirage in our dry lives...

Long copy woes!

Long copy gives me jitters. I wonder how someone can write at such a length, making sense and keeping the enthusiasm intact. On top of it, who has the time to read it? People are always in hurry. They have little or no time to go through a tedious piece of numerous words. They hop and skip and go down the end, or simply read the heading. Words, they think just fill the space and have no memory value. Even as kids they loved stories with many illustrations. Though people say content is king, but they prefer a picture over thousand words. And oh the text! Its size and font gives them a headache. And those words that are strangers to them, stare hard making them weak and hollow inside. Dictionary can probably help them, but who refers to those bulky, monstrous, piles of paper bound together? So they simply ignore and lead a life of bliss in ignorance. Skipping past an array of alphabets and letters, they give it a blind eye, for they think it’s a forest of words that are put across to make a short story long. Rather lengthy enough, one that would put them to bed and take then to an estranged world of words, leading then to develop hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

Whew!

But do you know that you've read 223 words so far. So, in case you are one amongst those who hate long copy, you must think again about it, because it could just be a mental block. One that you just shattered right now! 

Denied.

Another cold night when she was made to stay out of home and dwell in the darkness of her fate.

It was only the next day when she was allowed in. Pramal had not spoken to her while leaving for work and had not returned that night. Sattvi’s mind and heart were in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. It was only today that a series of event had kept her busy for the day and in a hurry she’d burnt whatever rice were left for the month.

“What was that behavior all about? What is your problem? How much do you expect her to care for you? How much do you want her to give into your demands? Her youth, her desires, her dreams, her wishes, her individuality, even her own self is lost. All her love and attention has always been yours.

Not a single day, a moment has she spent without chanting your name. What more do you ask of her?

Oh yes, like always you’ll blame her. You’ve never asked for it all, but why don’t you understand that when you went silent, she went numb. When you smiled, she was on cloud nine. Your sadness stabbed her every moment. She shivered when you raised your eyebrow. While you were busy weaving a world of pleasure and money, she was chopping her pettiest to prettiest of desires and sautéing them to cook up a delicacy of your choice always.

Of all the things in life, she chose you and your happiness, your people and your conducts. Her hunger was invoked when you declared that you wanted your meals. Your choice, however unpleasant was accepted with a smile that was a captive of your temperament. Have you ever asked her what she really wants? What are her opinions and needs? What is that one thing she’d always wished after marrying you? Have you even loved her? Do you even know what love and marriage is?

She has put her 42 good years in pure dedication towards you and this worthless relationship and yet has been denied of all the love and respect she deserves.

What is it with you? What more do you want from her? “

Only Sattvi could have voiced her sentiments and fought for her longing justice.

But only if she’d ever step out of that mirror.




Inspiration: The Silent Sea by Advaita Band and a friend's sketch "Mirrored or..."