But I Think There's More To Me!

But I think I am more, much more than I know of me. Beyond what I think I can ever be. Deep within and under wraps, there lies a little unexplored side to see. Quiet, yet active subconsciously. The masquerade side that plays hide & seek. It sings out loud and stirs a storm, but tough it is to know the words of the song. So I dive in the depths of my thoughts, try and figure out their source. I struggle to trace back the signs, fiddle a little with my soul divine. Listen to the sound it makes, with not ears but my heart, the echoes of which begin to get sparse. I run, jump, walk and bend to see, if it’s hiding in there, beneath. I go all around helplessly. Buzzing with commotion, I become fidgety. Tired and fatigued, I sit down with my head drooping low. Unable to settle the ripping roar, I feel it hurting me and making my inside a little sore. Mood bird now singing a melancholy, it flutters in a higgledy-piggledy state. Soon, salty drops begin to drip. And I begin to reflect. Finally the inside dialogue begins. Cleansing the misunderstandings, pouring out all petty woes of sensitivity; soon I hear the saddened me speak out to me merrily. Yes I am happy, but I still think, there’s more to me.   
    

Midnight Creativity & Inspiration!

Art & craft classes from school times have had a deep impact on how I looked at things. It was such an achievement when we were taught to recreate and make useable and interesting material out of the old, outdated and the crap. Since then 'Creativity' had me awed. Throwing or parting with things that they called waste, soon became complicated for me. I began looking at the no-more-of-any-use stuff with a different perspective, the perspective of recreation, the perspective of repurpose, the perspective of remission or say the perspective of being reborn from the ashes.

Last night, after a several years, I finally found time from my no-time-for-real-recreation-life; kept myself away from drifting into virtual world yet again, and finally wrapped 2 cardboard boxes with plain white side of torn shopping bags. These became trays to organize by stuff in my drawer. But what happened next was even more fulfilling. It was like, "Nothing creates like creativity" or should I rephrase it by saying " Creativity begets creativity". And aah! so fulfilling and inspiring two quotes, as if the reused boxes enlightened me to come up with some words of wisdom:

"If I can find a new opportunity for just being good at the only thing I can do, imagine the kind of treasure you can discover with your many capabilities."

"Leading a recycled life of being useful is worthier than being a useless piece of junk."

A V-Day Letter: Goodbye to you for my newfound love

Hey,

I am writing and confessing this after much thought. And all this while it has been hard to articulate it, after rehearsing several beginnings and ends, here’s what I have to finally tell you…

You were once my love and there were times I looked forward to be back in you arms, but over all this time I now have a newfound love for whom I can sacrifice all the importance and place you ever held in my life. This I know could be quite shocking and parting surely is never that easy and even I miss you a lot, but when I see the smile of my newfound love, your remotest of thoughts and memories leave me.

All this while I was trying to hold on to you and was finding ways of being together, but life made me to make a choice and accept this change, so I can maintain a right rhythm and find a new balance. I know it's going to be tough, all the more for me, as I have a long history with you, one that has been witnessed and told by the linen on my bed and I am going to miss the mushy nights spent with you. But all I can say and that too without any regrets is that I am letting you go, for what matters most is my newfound love and I can just do anything for our love story to bloom.

Goodbye Sleep, my newfound love- my Baby Girl is up and waiting for me. 

Let me know if a few secret meetings could help you get even with it.

Once yours lovingly,

Now proud mommy,

Himani~ Being Mom(me)