Have you ever got lost?
Well I don't mean literary but like into your own world. And I am not talking about your dream world either but your world of thoughts or may be in the noises around you?
Well I ask so because lately it has been happening to me. No matter whether I am with my family or friends or a at a place with complete strangers around me. I feel numb and dumb. Absolutely sensationless. As if afloat in my own thoughland. Practicing silence in the noisiest of places, as though was invisible to people and no matter what I do doesn't bother them at all. And to my amazement I felt certain amount of peace spreading all throughout me. Felt like keeping mum like this for quite a while now, untill the silence spills over from my eyes, nose, eaars and mouth. And when my whole being is formatted with this internal peace I wish to return to this big bad world. It seems there is some conncetion between this peace and my tempramenst these days. Seems like I have lost my cool and balance of mind. I am just flowing along with the flow and getting all displaced from my path of destination. I see a distant sight of me, that I was, from where today I am and alos how I want to be. But with the circumstances around and the unexpected situations that life poses, things take a small degree of turn here and there, making it all go haywire. Trying to grab controll but it is just going all away. And it is only in this silence that I feel myself. I don't want to be an idol of sacrifices but want to be me. People call this selfishness, but I ask how does it matter. I am not doing something obscene or with bad intent, but for my growth and knowledge. After all we are here on earth to learn. there's not just this external world but also a world within us. I want to experiment, I want to be free, liberated, with no watch dogs.
Well I don't mean literary but like into your own world. And I am not talking about your dream world either but your world of thoughts or may be in the noises around you?
Well I ask so because lately it has been happening to me. No matter whether I am with my family or friends or a at a place with complete strangers around me. I feel numb and dumb. Absolutely sensationless. As if afloat in my own thoughland. Practicing silence in the noisiest of places, as though was invisible to people and no matter what I do doesn't bother them at all. And to my amazement I felt certain amount of peace spreading all throughout me. Felt like keeping mum like this for quite a while now, untill the silence spills over from my eyes, nose, eaars and mouth. And when my whole being is formatted with this internal peace I wish to return to this big bad world. It seems there is some conncetion between this peace and my tempramenst these days. Seems like I have lost my cool and balance of mind. I am just flowing along with the flow and getting all displaced from my path of destination. I see a distant sight of me, that I was, from where today I am and alos how I want to be. But with the circumstances around and the unexpected situations that life poses, things take a small degree of turn here and there, making it all go haywire. Trying to grab controll but it is just going all away. And it is only in this silence that I feel myself. I don't want to be an idol of sacrifices but want to be me. People call this selfishness, but I ask how does it matter. I am not doing something obscene or with bad intent, but for my growth and knowledge. After all we are here on earth to learn. there's not just this external world but also a world within us. I want to experiment, I want to be free, liberated, with no watch dogs.
One of the best pieces of writing I have read in past few months...more so, coz u r writing is just so honest and true to their being. Needless to say, I, too, have felt the numbness overtake me at times and believe it or not, it is one of the best feelings for it sort of ensures that I am safe from all d bad things, secure in my own world.
ReplyDeleteKydos to you!
thanks..
ReplyDelete